too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
