Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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