i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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