No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
