There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
