Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
