just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
