i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
