she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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