I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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