Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
