I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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