Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You made out with two different species that night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
