Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
