Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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