Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
