Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
