just tell him i said nine months
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
