tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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