Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
