youre lurking in front of me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is Oprah even human
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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