Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize