He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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