there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
