So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
