I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize