You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
