can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
