My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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