his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
