I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize