Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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