Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
