Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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