we're blogging at a bar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
