I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
organizing the empties. That sober.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
