hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
