It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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