this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
