I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize