She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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