***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
