you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
