i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
