so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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