You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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