I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize