You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
