I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
