everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize