literally had 100 drinks last night.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The air taste purple.
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