but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
