It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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