Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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