The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
