see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
