So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize