Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
