Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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