I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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