I wish I only lived at night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
