glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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