You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
