her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
