Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
