he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize