we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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