Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
