he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
