dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize