i just made my gag reflex go away.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize