I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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