He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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