I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
