Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
