That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
