You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
