as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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