Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
