Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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