ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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