okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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