i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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