mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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