Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
